When I first got married, I was a semester away from graduating college. During our engagement, I left my job at a local literacy center to work for a local software company, a job that yielded more income but significantly less satisfaction.
Though early married life presented its fair share of bliss, life overall was somewhat less than ideal. Since Tim still had two years left to complete his engineering degree, that left me to fulfill the role of “breadwinner”. But, as you might imagine, jobs for “almost graduates” were not particularly lucrative. Or fun, for that matter.
Add to that the fact that I came home from work on a daily basis to discover that my husband’s video game hobby was more like a habit-a fact that had not been adequately revealed to me during our courtship.
Life was somewhat monotonous. Indeed, those first few months of matrimony required adjustment.
In talking with an old friend from my early college years over the phone, I described what most of my life consisted of. She caught my hint of dissatisfaction and said, ” Susie, you have too much talent to waste it cleaning dirty toilets and dish rags.”
I immediately felt defensive. I hadn’t meant to complain. But my reality at the time was a huge helping of drudgery with a little joy on the side. And that somehow came across as dissatisfaction.
In our consumer and entertainment culture, many have grown accustomed to getting as much out of life as they possibly can. We chase lucrative careers, picture perfect families, endless entertainment, and adventures across the globe.
And why shouldn’t we? The world is literally at our fingertips. The American Dream is alive and well and our thriving economy facilitates our insatiable appetites for consumption.
And yet attaining all the world has to offer has not made us much happier. In fact, statistically-speaking, the correlation between happiness and wealth levels off at an annual income of $75K. (If one believes that happiness is measurable, anyway).
The truth is, I think happiness is often bred from drudgery. I don’t mind digging in and shoveling a bit of figurative manure because it makes the harvest that much more satisfying.
Why are we so afraid of things going wrong?
One of my daughters is a toxic perfectionist. She completely shuts down when she falls short of expectations. On everything. It’s exasperating to watch.
I wonder if she is partly the product of a world addicted to Tik Tok and Instagram. She doesn’t have either of those, but one has to wonder at how the culture is being shaped by those platforms.
Why do we think endless entertainment is the key to happiness? It certainly doesn’t build up our resilience to challenges in life.
If there’s anything this pandemic has taught me, it’s that there is joy to be found in literally any circumstance. AND, that one can be miserable and happy at the exact same time.
Except when I drag my kids out for a walk in the dead of winter and they spend the entire time whining about how cold it is and how tired they are.
There is no happiness in that. Whatsoever.
